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25 December 2012 @ 05:30 pm
I can really never get enough Bon Iver. Ever.
06 August 2011 @ 03:27 pm
Ah life. Just keep throwing me curveballs, don't you? I have to believe in my heart that I have good things coming my way, otherwise things would be unbearable. Hope is what is fueling me right now. Not much else. Andrew asked me why I keep people at such an arm's length. I couldn't really answer that, except to say that evrytime I let someone in, I end up heartbroken. I realize that a huge part of living is trying and failing and falling and learning but it hurts so much to hurt like that. However, I could be missing so much. I fucked up so much with Luke..he is finishing his post-doc, existing in happy co-habitation and on his way to engagement. I will get a little crack in my already tarnished heart the day that I hear that news. It's like I have all of these opportunities to be happy and something inside of me will not allow me to allow myself to embrace it. I wish I could slap myself in the face and wake myself up.
28 July 2011 @ 02:36 pm
I feel like I have been walking around in a nightmare. Will I ever be able to redeem all of the pieces of my life and of myself, or will I just continue to run into wall after wall? I am losing hope for myself and for my future.
07 June 2011 @ 08:43 pm
I just don't know where I fit in this world...economically, romantically, socially or spiritually. When I am in a group of people, I always feel like I am looking at them from inside a bubble. Kind of seperate. I feel like people treat me differently, distantly and I cannot figure out why that is. It is very lonely. I am very lonely.
02 June 2011 @ 09:52 pm
I wish I could just escape from my life for awhile. Throw my brain to the side and just run away as quickly as I possibly can. Far away. Maybe not come back.
11 April 2007 @ 06:18 pm
TWO MORE DAYS! TWO MORE DAYS till you won't have to listen to me say "TWO MORE DAYS" anymore.

Whew. I just got done cleaning my house. That bad boy is SPOTLESS. I took the day off of work so I could make sure that the house was spic and span for mis padres tomorrow. I even moved furniture around and vacuumed behind and under it and whatnot. Goooo me.

We had a band photoshoot the other night. Of course, being in a band full of boys, us girls were asked to get up on Mike's motorcycle for several pictures. Not really sure what that has to do with the band. Not quite Playboy, but close. Hah. Hooking Up Clark officially has a flyer though. I'm not sure how i feel about it.
30 November 2005 @ 10:48 am
I hate that achey, pervasive feeling you get when you're sick. It's like it settles into your bones or something. I keep coughing and i feel like my esophagus is turning itself inside out. Nice mental picture, huh? So much to do... so little time.

So I think Ben has a girlfriend. I'm pretty sure she's absolutely gorgeous and possibly a model as well, judging from her MySpace profile. C'est la vie. It was too good to be true anyways. Things like that just don't happen to me or for me.

I tried to register today. I managed to get into Chem 102. That's it. The downfall of going to a large university. I tried to get into KINE 318 but it told me i wasn't eligible. Me thinks I'm still at sophomore standing because I haven't sent my summer school transcripts in yet. Dammit. Way to be irresponsible.

I only have 4 more days of "real" school. Then it's finals time.

Only 15 more days until Breckenridge/freedom.

I think that I will call Mango's foal "Malibu" instead of coconut, in representation of Malibu Coconut Rum.

I think when/if I ever get my fancy yumping/dressage horse, I will name it "Catharsis". I really like what that word implies. That's one thing in my life i can always hold hope for... horses... if nothing else at all.

And I leave you with this...

She loves me more that anything
And she wants the world for me
Her west dropped of in El Paso,
And her north in Abilene
Mama I'm OK out here
I've seen how hard the world can be
My step is sure and I know my name
I'm strong just like you prayed I'd be
I'm strong just like you prayed I'd be

If I'd have done what you and daddy done, would have never lost and never won
Or gotten myself kicked when I was down
I would not know how to travel well, A hundred bucks and cheap motels
I would not know how to fight for my own heart next time around
05 November 2005 @ 04:04 pm
Gretchen wilson+Big and Rich= Awesome concert.


- Riding in the van with Katie's drunk relatives and my best buddies
- Drinking Malibu out of a brown paper bag like a hobo
- Smoking my Virginia Slim out the back window that was cracked open like two inches
- Jamming out to "All Jacked Up". I'm not a huge Gretchen fan but damn, that girl can SING.
- Trying everyone's various drinks (apple martini, chocolate martini and tropical breeze at Wings N' More.)

x: BASICS :x:

:x: name :x:Caroline
:x: first name backwards :x:Enilorac
:x: birthdate :x:May 19th
:x: birthplace :x:Long Beach CA
:x: current place you live :x:Texas
:x: parent’s names :x:Robert and Cookie! Mwaha.
:x: their age :x:53 and 51
:x: siblings :x:One brother
:x: school :x:Texas A&M
:x: length of time at school : Well i've been here for about 3 years if that's what you mean
:x: best teacher :x:Mrs. Borth rocked my face off.
:x: piercings :x:double ears, belly button thinking about my nose
:x: tattoos :x:None
:x: height :x:5'6'' ish
:x: shoe size :x:6
:x: hair color :x:Strawberry Blonde-ish
:x: length :x:past shoulders.

:x: LAST… :x:

:x: movie you rented :x:The Wedding Date
:x: movie you bought :x:I don't remember
:x: song you listened to :x: Tonight's Not the Night- Randy Rogers Band
:x: song that was stuck in your head :x: That new Gavin DeGraw one
:x: cd you listened to :x: Rollercoaster- Randy Rogers
:x: person you've called :x: Katie
:x: person that's called you :x:Katie
:x: tv show you've watched :x:Made
:x: person you were thinking of :x:Mindy Lou! I need to call her.


:x: using someone :x:Against
:x: suicide :x:Against
:x: killing people :x:Against
:x: teenage smoking :x:Against
:x: premarital sex :x:For
:x: driving drunk :x:Against

:x: NUMBER :x:

:x: of times you have been in love :x: None
:x: of times you have had my heart broken :x: Full out never.
:x: of hearts you have broken :x: I doubt any.
:x: of people you would call true, could trust with your life type friends :x: Becky, Katie, Kelly, Kara, Kim, Mindy...
:x: of people you consider my enemies :x: I try not to make enemies
:x: of times your name has appeared in the newspaper :x: a few
:x: of scars on your body :x: a few
:x: of things in your past that you regret :x: I don't like to dwell on regrets.


:x: wallet :x: Brown. It's boring.
:x: hairbrush :x: Silver and black.
:x: toothbrush :x: SpongeBob!
:x: jewelry worn daily :x: My white gold "X" necklace, my cubic zirconia studs, my sterling silver loops and my blue sparkly belly stud.
:x: pillow cover :x: White with black lace trim.
:x: blanket :x: Really fancy schmancy white and black.
:x: sunglasses :x: Oh the sweet ones i bought at the gas station which are huge and square shaped and have rhinestones up the side.
:x: shoes :x: Gray mossimo flip flops
:x: handbag :x: Dooney and Bourke. So cute. Hobo bag that is white with multi-colored hearts.
:x: favorite top :x: Currently my baby blue tank top with a draped front.
:x: what you are wearing now :x:Jeans, flip flops, Oakdale Feed and Seed t-shirt and black dog ale hat.
:x: hair :x: In a pony tail.
:x: make up :x:Powder, mascara.
25 October 2005 @ 10:37 am
I don't think there is anything more true than a mid-October day. Especially in Texas.